Welcome to Style through Her Eyes, a fashion, beauty and lifestyle blog of eight years by Jenmarie. Here you'll find OOTDs, reviews, beauty tips, favorite things, and inspirational pick-me-ups. Have a look around and send Jenmarie an email if you wish!

Watch those lips!

Everyday negative words escape from our lips. Amongst the negativity includes putting ourselves down when we're alone and even when we're around other people. We look in the mirror and we make harsh judgments and begin making a list about the things we can't stand about ourselves. Some of us are uncomfortable with our weight, some of us wish we had a different head of hair, and many of us compare ourselves to other women which results in feelings of jealousy, lack of self-esteem, rude behavior and hurt feelings.

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God made us all different and unique and that's beautiful! Don't let yourself be consumed by what the world's idea of beautiful is. Many of those magazine photos you see have been altered anyways! We should be proud of our uniquenesses and embrace who we are because there isn't another person like us!

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14

I was born with a gap in-between my two front teeth. My mom and my sister also have it. Growing up, it would occasionally bother me but I later saw it as one of the things that made me unique. It's especially fun that only the females in my family have it. When I met with Stephanie from The Loudmouth Lifestyle she told me she loved my gap! I was so touched by the compliment mostly because only my family has ever really said positive things about it. This reminded me of how important it is to compliment other people whether it be about something that makes them unique or something they're wearing. These positive words give everyone a boost of self-esteem!

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I'm going to be honest and tell you that NO ONE likes to hear you put yourself down. Why? Because those words are hurtful to the people around you who love you and after a while it can really become annoying. NO ONE likes when you compare yourself to them. Why? Because it makes that person feel awkward and they will probably begin to entertain thoughts in their own heads about their bodies. Why would you want to be responsible for that?

I know people who talk negatively about themselves and it saddens me. I have experienced people comparing theirselves to me too many times and like I mentioned above it's completely awkward. It's especially difficult when they talk about me in a certain way just to make themselves feel better. The way it's said and how they swear I'm the skinniest person does not actually feel good at all! It makes me think they're saying I'm weak and unhealthy. I do wear some of the smallest sizes available but I've got my curves, a small bust, and some cellulite (like most women do!). Yes, "insert name here" I do in fact eat and go to the gym! If you really knew me you'd know I love food! In the world's eyes all these things that make me who I am are not perfect but I know that in God's eyes I do have the perfect body. He created me just the way I am and I know I'm accepted and loved.

If we really have a serious issue with ourselves we can work towards improving many of them. Things like making better food choices and exercising to lose weight or investing in new skin-care products to achieve a healthier looking face can be accomplished. If issues like these really cause you to be depressed and are the source for your low self-esteem then you should do something about it. I don't mean to be harsh I just want to encourage you to start tackling the issues instead of complaining about it. Trust me, I could use some of my own advice too!

At the same time we need to be careful about what we decide we want to change. For example, I could change the gap between my teeth but I accepted this uniqueness of mine a long time ago and it doesn't cause me any physical problems so why do it? It's important to think these things through and not just change something about yourself because you want to be perfect.

Please don't think I have everything together. There are times when I think negative thoughts about my body but I have been working to train myself to be aware of it and so I usually won't dwell on the thoughts. The purpose of this post was to simply encourage you. Always remember, YOU ARE B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

My challenge for you this week is: Instead of focusing on what you believe are your flaws, praise the things you love about yourself!

Continue to be encouraged and read posts like these...

Competing, Comparing, Confessing
- The Loudmouth Lifestyle

Why Women (at times) Are Their Own Worst Enemies
- Beautifully Invisible

The Art of Not Feeling Threatened by The Beauty of Others
- By Anika



Tree @ Harvester Products said...

How funny that you wrote about the gap. I never really even notice it.
It made me cry, though. I know I am so guilty of lots of these things.
Very good post - very good!

Shayne said...

Thank you for putting this post up. I put myself down alot. I just need to realize that I am me for me.

Heidi said...

What a great inspirational post! I am sure you remember I lost weight, I choose to because I wanted to feel better. I have never felt better and self confident since I lost that weight. I only tell people that you should loose weight for obvious health reasons if they are obese or overweight.
I work on the phone's everyday and I hear negativity everyday. It is a balance of letting it go and not taking it personally. Some people can be so rude! I don't understand it, but oh well...
Great post! :)


Amen! If you don't like the way you are, either change it or embrace it! Love you sweetie!!!

Anonymous said...

Such a wonderful post Jen. Thank you so much for sharing and reminding me :)

Mattie said...

Such a great post! I needed to hear this because I was totally putting myself down in the hair department. I chopped it all off, embrace being natural (I said goodbye to weaves & extensions) and totally got caught up in society's ideals.

You brought me back to a place I needed to be. Oh, I have a gap too! And if you ask me, they give us character. I can't imagine me without it...

Fantastic, enlightening and incredible post! Thank you so much for it :)

Audrey Allure said...

Such a great post! It would be nice if we all genuinely complimented each other more :)

Kristin said...

Such a beautifully inspirational post lady! I had to silence my inner critic in order to let myself be happier!

Anonymous said...

Such a thoughtful post Jen! It's really important for us to remember to be flippin' kind to ourselves. I think it's just so much easier to think these things for other people.

I also second that bit about complaining about yourself. THE LAST THING I WANT TO HEAR...quite literally, is my friends putting themselves down. I always stop them and ask them to think about what they're saying.

Britta Kirk said...


Anonymous said...

Amazing post, Jen! I needed to hear this. There's times when I still put myself down, but I've learned to not criticize myself in front of others as much or compare myself to others anymore at all. We're all unique and God made us who we are. So embrace it or change what you feel truly needs changed. And that attitude always needs changed first. :)

Blue said...

I love this post, this is really something one should read every morning. Watching our language is so important in the way we feel, just today I made a resolution to try to stop complaining about things that I cannot change...

Kate said...

This is one of my favourite posts of any blogger, ever! Everyone thinks so negatively about themselves and they never believe others who tell them otherwise. I do loads of these things, but I need to keep telling myself to think more positively! Brilliant post!

Casee Marie said...

So well done, Jen! You should be so proud of this, really. You illustrated a lot of characteristics that many of us have faced in the past - and whether we've overcome them or are still working to better alter our view on body image, this was an inspiration to stay strong.

For me, I never find myself comparing myself to other women that I can really think of - I'm happy with myself, although there are things I'd like to change for myself and I'm working on that. But what I find becomes a weakness for me is feeling inadequate in the eyes of others. I'm not sure if it will make much sense, but I very often feel insecure in the company of other women and wonder if they're judging me for not being slim. You hear so much about women in fashion and how unhealthy the standards are, so sometimes when I put pictures of myself online or even being at events I wonder if others are noticing my size. If we all took the high road in life and if the media didn't pit women against each other as they so often seem to do I think we'd all be much happier and much more secure.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble and I hope that made some sense. Beautiful job, girl! xo


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