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Jenmarie is a bubbly and petite thirty-one year old who loves to laugh and always thinks shopping is a good idea. She has been happily married for eight years to the man of her dreams and loves all things Star Wars & Disney. You've stumbled upon her blog of fashion, beauty and lifestyle where she shares her outfits, reviews, beauty tips, favorite things, and inspirational pick-me-ups. Have a look around and send her a note if you wish!

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Life (So far) At 30

Life (So far) At 30 | Style Through Her Eyes
(Photo taken last year during our vacation in Maui)

Prior to turning thirty I was freaking out. Of course, most everyone beyond their thirties thought I sounded ridiculous and referred to me as "so young". The truth is, I am young but not "so" young, though I most certainly look like it. I quickly turned the tables back on them and asked them how they felt when THEY hit that milestone. Some of them realized they had felt similarly to what I was feeling and a few said their thirties were some of the best years of their life. Hearing these statements made me feel more normal and hopeful but I still felt anxious about it and had many moments of depression. I questioned myself, my life, and probably thought too much of the future.

Once I turned thirty on January 2nd, I felt pretty good. But then only a few days after I started feeling depressed again. Not only did I feel unhappy but I started having health problems. I had already been really sick twice between November and December. For those of you who don't know, being sick really takes its toll on me and I was just ready to be done for a while. I don't usually come down with something back-to-back like I had been, but considering that we had one of the coldest Winters and everyone and their mother was sick, it just happened. Back to the point, I began having problems with my ears and now two months later they still aren't quite back to normal. This, combined with other issues (it's ALWAYS something with me), finding my first two silver hairs on my head, and feeling unhappy and uncertain about my life made me want to do nothing but just sit in bed when I wasn't at work or busy doing something. With anxiety often comes depression and I didn't realize that until a while after I discovered I had anxiety. If I let my thoughts get the best of me I end up in this ugly place which some of you may be familiar with. Sometimes all it takes to trigger feeling depressed is one negative comment from someone or an unpleasant thought which is usually far from true. That's why as soon as you notice you're feeling down or depressed you should do everything in your power to distract yourself. I talked about one way of doing that with a new form of anxiety/depression/stress relief called Art Therapy in this post.


More recently I have been doing a lot better! I've had a much more positive mind and feel more like my bubbly, happy self. I was even able to slap depression in the face a few nights ago when I got down about something. I conquered and was able to continue my day with my head held high! My husband and I also started a new reading challenge in our Bible App, which has been so wonderful. It's a free app with all sorts of reading options including choosing different reading plans to aid in keeping yourself accountable. Some days we read together and others separately. I also like having the option of it being read to you. The narrator's voice is absolutely astounding; he has a way of really keeping your attention (not that the Bible is generally boring but there are parts that can be, or difficult to understand). I've missed being in the Word everyday like this. I also recently discovered a song by Lauren Daigle called First. When I initially heard it not too long ago I broke down crying, and I have cried multiple times listening to it since. I was just truly realizing that I wasn't putting God first and not seeking Him nearly enough during my recent times of unhappiness and depression. I've seen this past week especially how incredibly powerful He is and how spending time with Him makes all the difference in my day.

So, as you can see, I've gone through a bit of a rough patch so far this year. It's not over yet but I think with the changes I have made in spending more time with God and being more alert to the circumstances that are triggering depression, I can get through and conquer the unpleasantness in my life that I'm currently dealing with. It feels good to know that I CAN CHOOSE GOD AND HAPPINESS EVERY DAY!

I shared this with the hope that it might inspire you in whatever it is you might be going through. You're not alone!

3 comments:

Teresa @ Harvester Products said...

I loved reading this insight into you and your struggles. I am SO happy that you are putting God first more, and allowing Him to give you the peace and comfort you need <3

FASHION TALES said...

What an inspiring post, funnily enough my co-worker sent me this song last week. I think having balance is always a good way for us to progress, so it's great to hear that you found that and the app is helping you. We all go through rough patches, but it's our attitude about our rough times that makes all the difference. Take care, be content, and stay encouraged. x
Paris Street Style

Casee Marie said...

I'm so super proud of you!! It's not easy to get through times of overwhelm, and sometimes just as hard to reflect on them after the fact. I'm so glad that you're feeling better, and especially that you're being so mindful and using a negative experience as a moment of learning. (I do feel like a bad friend, though, because I've kept in horrible touch and I'm sorry that you were going through a difficult time! Sending you a big hug!)

Coincidentally, I feel like I went through much the same thing when I turned 26. It wasn't a milestone - 25 was actually somehow easier - but there was a significance to entering the last portion of my 20s. If that makes any sense. It caused me to really take stock of my life, and that was when I started my own journey of learning to live more fully with anxiety. I'll be 28 this year and with my sister turning 30 in December it already has me thinking about my own looming milestone. It's so very easy to fall into a loophole of Shoulda-Coulda-Wouldas and to start categorizing every facet of life as either success or failure. But I know, too, that life is much more beautifully intricate than that, and even the things that didn't go as planned were used to shape some good purpose. Whenever I find myself wishing I had done things differently I remind myself that if things had gone a different way I wouldn't be who I am today. And I find something in every day that makes me happy to be me, so it brings me full circle, eventually. :)

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